Burnerblog

I heard once that Chuck Norris went to visit Evel Knievel to learn how to improve on his badassness. Chuck was but a young pup, fresh off attaining his first level black belt, but something was missing. So he went into the garage where Evel was preparing a bike for an upcoming jump when Evel looked up at Chuck. Chuck looked down at Evel. Evel said, “Get me a wrench; 7/16th’s.” Chuck got the wrench. Evel, without so much as blinking an eye, took the wrench, and then threw it at Chuck. “You come here wanting to learn to be a badass and you fetch me a wrench? You are not ready, grasshopper.”

That was the last time Chuck Norris ever fetched anything for anyone. Evel Knievel was so badass that he told Chuck Norris to fetch a wrench for him, and he did.

It’s rumored that Evel Knievel was visited by Chuck Norris on his deathbed. As Evel lay dieing, Chuck tearfully asked if there was anything he could do to help his friend. Evel leaned up and said in a weak voice, “One last cup of coffee would be great.” Chuck stood up, poured a hot cup of coffee, and handed it to Evel. Evel took the cup and with his last bit of strength, threw it at Chuck Norris. Evel’s last words were, “Chuck, you pussy. Have you not learned anything in the past 40 years?” and with that, Evel died.

Chuck then went back to his ranch and initiated a lawsuit against the publishers of a book containing Chuck Norris jokes, having misinterpreted Evel’s dieing words as “Chuck, you’re busy, and you may not know this, but they’re making fun of you in a book. Can you fix it?” How he inferred this out of the actual words is anyone’s guess, but no-one questions the inner workings of the Norris brain. You just nod, smile, and get the hell out of the way (or else his laser beam eyes will cut you down where you stand).

It’s always funny to me, seeing all the “Put the Christ back in Christmas” signs. I see them in emails, on envelopes, even on Christmas cards. What’s funniest to me is that Christmas as we know it was invented by Charles Dickens and became popular in Victorian England only about 150 years ago. Before that, Christmas was a pagan holiday, not widely celebrated, and certainly not celebrated in the way we do today (Christmas trees, dinners, gift exchanges, etc).

It turns out Jesus is not the reason for the season. He’s just the modern-day excuse for it. I’m sure someone (or many people) will refute this and/or comment to the contrary (or not… lol). I’m not attacking anyone’s religion or beliefs, but as a historian, facts are facts, and no religious dogma is going to sway me on this one.

This is not to say, however, that putting Christ into Christmas is a bad thing. It’s good to link them, in my opinion, but I am just pointing out the fallacy of the aforementioned statements. Christmas trees are pagan symbols from Germany, St. Nick is from Greece, and the list goes on. The religious linkage came after these traditions and myths were already firmly entrenched. Interesting that they were linked at all.

I know I should use a news reader for the blogs I follow, but I don’t. I can’t. I kind of like the whole presentation thing of blogs. People put in the time to make their snazzy layouts and to post pictures and other goodies in a way that compliments the post and fits into the scheme of their site, and I think I should view it the way it was intended to be viewed.

With that said, I do have a news reader, and most blogs are on it… but I use it mostly to let me know when there’s an update, or when something has changed. Namely, when a new post has been written (I was going to say posted, but that would be too much).

I’ve been thinking about blogs, and how they were a big thing a few years back and now, most folks have moved on to facebook or myspace with the exception of those of us who prefer the control and the freedom of having our own site with the script of our choosing, etc. For the masses, myspace and facebook (et al) are a great solution for being entangled in the tubes of the interwebs.  For those of us who have been here a while longer, or are more adept at doing things like configuring data strings and debugging html, there are good old fashioned blogs.

This place is a journal-type blog, and most of the blogs I follow are journal blogs. They keep me up-to-date with what my friends are doing, whether they are real-life friends here locally, or people I’ve met online that I like to think of as my friends (whether they think of me that way or not is irrelevant; what’s in my mind is what’s important to me). There are a few other blogs I read from time to time, my favorite being Engadget, but I love reading about the lives of people. It’s sort of the ultimate reality show for those with a brain.

Then, there’s twitter. It’s the ultimate in TMI (too much information). You can keep track of what people are doing based on their updates, which can be done moment by moment. I’ve started using it, and I’ve found it’s fun and addictive. It gives you something to do when you’re bored or in places you’d rather not be. But, for example, I went to a coffee shop last night and had a nice time and forgot to twitter it for that very reason; I wasn’t bored. It seems twitter is best suited to boredom, although I am trying to keep it up and twitter the good as well as the bad. I enjoy it… it’s the amalgamation of myspace and blogging with text messaging and bulletin boards thrown in for good measure. As fun as it is, it doesn’t take the place of the good old fashioned blog (but it definitely adds to the whole “connected” experience!).

So, I guess not only do I like clicking down my entire blogroll to look for myself if there have been any updates, but I also like to read blogs about folks and their lives. I’m thinking that makes me old fashioned, but if there’s anything I’ve learned since turning 30, it’s that I don’t care what labels people ascribe to me. It’s the labels I use for myself that matter.

As a kid growing up in the 70’s, Lily Tomlin was someone we were more than familiar with; she was part of the pop-culture lexicon when one mentioned comediennes (what a funny word). What I didn’t know was that the person behind comedy was her partner and writer, Jane Wagner. I came across some of her quotes today and thought I’d share them. I think some of them are profound in that weird, so true kind of way.

A sobering thought: what if, at this very moment, I am living up to my full potential?
Jane Wagner

All my life, I always wanted to be somebody. Now I see that I should have been more specific.
Jane Wagner

Delusions of grandeur make me feel a lot better about myself.
Jane Wagner

I personally think we developed language because of our deep inner need to complain.
Jane Wagner

Our ability to delude ourselves may be an important survival tool.
Jane Wagner

The ability to delude yourself may be an important survival tool.
Jane Wagner

The hardest part about being a kid is knowing you have got your whole life ahead of you.
Jane Wagner

When we talk to God, we’re praying. When God talks to us, we’re schizophrenic.
Jane Wagner

I was reading through a bunch of random blogs just now. It was surprising to me how many of the authors of these blogs vowed to write less about themselves and their lives, thinking that they were somehow “boring” their readers. Unless the site is supposed to be about a certain topic or subject, I would agree with them, but when a blog is called (and this is just an example) “Bloguser578’s Corner,” then I expect to read about that person, their life, etc. Telling me when I go to your site that you’re going to post less about yourself because you don’t want to bore me is the exact opposite of what you should be doing.

Sure, there are people who come to the realization that they’ve put too much of themselves online, and they don’t want others to have access to that much information about them. There are again those who, for professional reasons or family reasons have to limit the information they post about themselves online. I fall into the latter category, but I only censor myself a tiny bit. There is some really outrageous stuff on my site if you dig deep enough.

Anyway, my point is that “back in the day” when blogging was still something only tech-savvy people with some scripting ability could do, the blogs were somehow more like houses, and the blogs all linking to one another were all sort of little communities. Looking back in my archives reminded me of how, in the early days, there was a circle of friends I had online, all people whom I’d never met, yet felt somehow connected to. Later, I met many of the people and have become very good friends with them. Some of them have sort of drifted away, while others forcefully withdrew themselves from the interwebs, never to be heard from again.

What attracted me to the blogs back then? Style, content, and personality. The people who I linked to and commented on their sites were all folks that were interesting to me in one way or another, and were friendly to me. They enjoyed commenting on my site as I enjoyed commenting on theirs. There were even cross-blog flirtations and virtual relationships going on, with yours truly being involved in no fewer than three cyber-crushes. Ahh, those were the days…

Now, there are political blogs, sports blogs, news blogs, photography blogs, etc. Heck, there are blogs dedicated to blogging technology. I even started a music blog that is floundering somewhere due to a lack of time to keep updating on my own (and may someday move here to WP as well), but I found that I could do everything here that I was doing there, only more. Here, I can write about a movie I saw, a football game my son played in, a production my daughter is in, a new car I bought, how the neighbors cut their grass so short it all died, etc. There is nothing holding me to any subject or topic. If it’s something I think of, experience, or otherwise feel like writing about, it’s fair game. To me, that’s what a blog is. It’s personal. I am interested in what other people see, experience, and/or feel like talking about. It’s the ultimate soap opera. It’s the grand drama, and I’m hooked.

Six years on, through a tumultuous relationship with this blog, I find myself back and posting again. I don’t know if there’s any trend that could be tracked to determine why I’m here and posting more now than I have been in the past few years, but in a strange way, it feels like I’ve returned home somehow. I’ve been following more closely the blogs of friends of old (that are still around and posting), and have been keeping my eyes out for new friends. Of course, not being an 18 year old hawt female makes finding new friends online all the more difficult, but it’s not like I’m shopping for friends. As I find sites I like, I’ll comment here and there, and if someone wants to disregard my comments or not acknowledge me, that’s fine. It hasn’t happened yet, but it has before, and I’m sure it will again. C’est la vie… I’ll just pass through on my way to friendlier blogs.

In the meantime, I’ll be here on Burnerblog, writing about my life. It may not be interesting… it may be fascinating… it may be shit. That’s for you to decide. As always, I remain Edge. You bloggers out there; don’t think for a second we’re not interested in what you have to say. If that were the case, we wouldn’t be there reading your stuff, now would we?